Many years ago, I’d say 34-35 years ago, my siblings closest to me (my brother and sister) would occasionally grab an arm each and start pulling. One would pull an arm and say, “She’s mine. I got her for Christmas.” The other one would pull the other arm they had a hold of and say, “No, she’s mine. I got her for my birthday!” “No, I got her for Valentine’s day!”. “I got her for Thanksgiving!” And on and on and on. I was thankful when the holiday list would run out!
I began thinking of these memories last night when I found some old pictures of us when we were kids. The irony of it is, I feel so many things in my life are still playing tug-of-war with me. The past few days I’ve literally felt as if I’m being ripped to shreds. Actually it’s been more than a few days.
Division. Games. Manipulation. Hurt- past and present and I’m in the middle. The middle of right and wrong and to be quite honest, I’d just rather run. After all, I’m not 4 or 5 years old; I’m 39.
Then I think, there are no coincidences with the Lord. Why does he have me here? Do I have the ability to bridge the gap between hurt and healing? Is it even a choice to take the easy road and run or do I have to stay in the middle?
What words do I say, or do I say nothing and just listen? Do I offer a hand or is that enabling? Do I keep it in neutral, or do I put it in drive or even reverse? Was I born on this earth as a gift to be pulled apart at the seams?
One thing I do know is with all the pulling, nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39 NKJV
Not the real or the fake, not the love or the hate, not the terrible or the great.
Thank You Lord. Help me to listen. Help me to love. Help me die to myself because it’s not about me. Help me to obey You and no one else. In Jesus’ name, Amen.